10,000 B.C.

I’ve only been out of school for four years now but from what I can remember, history never seemed that boring. Maybe it’s because I haven’t retained much since graduating but if history was anything like the recently released, 10,000 B.C., then God help us all.

It’s not that this is a bad movie because I truly believe that there is no such a thing. I mean, nobody intends to set out to make a bad film but 10,000 B.C. is somewhat perplexing because it has all the potential to be good, if not great. Blame it on last year’s Apocalypto, but it’s no secret that writers and studio execs are clearly trying to milk whatever’s left of that franchise. Doing so may be at the expense of art, or cinematography I should say, but where do you draw the line? Even though people may respond to flashy, CGI special effects, if a movie has no substance to it then aren’t we selling ourselves short? I say yes. That being said, what the hell were the writers of 10,000 B.C. thinking? Unfortunately, we may never know.

So what’s it all about? To be honest, I can’t really answer that question because I’m still stuck on the fact that I wasted $7 bucks to see this weak excuse for a movie. However, from what I could gather, the basic idea was centered around a young hunter and the love he shared for this girl. While not original, the story came off dry and hard to follow if the movie didn’t grab you right away. I swear there were times I had to keep myself from falling asleep but for every frame of long, drawn-out dialogue, the action scenes made up for at least a margin of that admission fee.

And did I mention there was a saber tooth? If this film doesn’t deserve an Oscar, then I don’t know what does. All jokes aside, don’t waste your money. 10,000 B.C. is nothing more than a weak attempt at being an “art film” so even though the trailer makes this film look good, it’s really not. Things aren’t always what they appear to be and if I can save someone from making the same mistake that I did, then I think this is well worth it.

Rating: 0 ½ inkblots out of 5