Having a crush on someone you know you can't have has to be one of the worst feelings in world. Trust me, I know. But it's not like working with them makes it any easier...
Therein lies the catch-22 I'm faced with and it seems like I really have no other place to turn to for answers. Besides, every scenario that plays out in my head seems to end the same way and the last thing I would want to do is create an uncomfortable situation (for the both of us) should she not have the same feelings as I do.
Which she probably doesn't knowing my luck but, still, I've learned quite a few lessons from past experiences and to say that I'm a little reserved when it comes to matters of the heart towards co-workers would be an understatement.
It's bad enough these same problems are carrying over to where I work now but the one thing about love is, you can't help who you like. Especially in my case. When I fall, I usually fall hard and, before I know it, it becomes one of those "here we go again" type deals.
But something about this seems different. Forbidden almost in the sense that I want what I know I can't have.
Next to rejection, it's one of the worst feelings in the world and it's not so much the "wanting" that makes it so bad; it's the "wondering". It's all the "what if" and constant back and forth that you exchange with that person that makes you want them even more. The only question is, are the risks greater than the reward?
It puts you in a position to play devil's advocate when you really think about it because, either way you decide to play it, nobody wins when it comes to interoffice romances. The two of you could never really enjoy it (unless you have a really strong foundation) without everybody being in your business and, for that reason alone, I guess that's the only thing really holding me back. That and the unbridled fear of rejection that I tend to have when it comes to things of this nature.
But still I stand here at a fork in the road; questioning whether I should (or shouldn't) indulge in something as sweet as the devil's food. To do so would bring pleasure momentarily, I suppose, but what about everything else that would come along with it? Am I really ready for that kind of responsibility? Am I really ready to learn how to deal?
Maybe if I play my cards right everything will fall into place on its own but, even then, that would require me to make a deal with the devil...
Here goes nothing, I suppose...
Therein lies the catch-22 I'm faced with and it seems like I really have no other place to turn to for answers. Besides, every scenario that plays out in my head seems to end the same way and the last thing I would want to do is create an uncomfortable situation (for the both of us) should she not have the same feelings as I do.Which she probably doesn't knowing my luck but, still, I've learned quite a few lessons from past experiences and to say that I'm a little reserved when it comes to matters of the heart towards co-workers would be an understatement.
It's bad enough these same problems are carrying over to where I work now but the one thing about love is, you can't help who you like. Especially in my case. When I fall, I usually fall hard and, before I know it, it becomes one of those "here we go again" type deals.
But something about this seems different. Forbidden almost in the sense that I want what I know I can't have.
Next to rejection, it's one of the worst feelings in the world and it's not so much the "wanting" that makes it so bad; it's the "wondering". It's all the "what if" and constant back and forth that you exchange with that person that makes you want them even more. The only question is, are the risks greater than the reward?
It puts you in a position to play devil's advocate when you really think about it because, either way you decide to play it, nobody wins when it comes to interoffice romances. The two of you could never really enjoy it (unless you have a really strong foundation) without everybody being in your business and, for that reason alone, I guess that's the only thing really holding me back. That and the unbridled fear of rejection that I tend to have when it comes to things of this nature.
But still I stand here at a fork in the road; questioning whether I should (or shouldn't) indulge in something as sweet as the devil's food. To do so would bring pleasure momentarily, I suppose, but what about everything else that would come along with it? Am I really ready for that kind of responsibility? Am I really ready to learn how to deal?
Maybe if I play my cards right everything will fall into place on its own but, even then, that would require me to make a deal with the devil...
Here goes nothing, I suppose...
-T.I.-
[Author's Note]
I started writing this some time in January so parts of it are no longer relevant. I just figured it would be a shame to let such a fine piece of literature go to waste. Besides, I really liked the way I tied everything to my "Sweet As Devil's Food" theme. I couldn't word it exactly how I wanted to per say, but I think I was ambiguous enough to get my point across. Don't you?
I started writing this some time in January so parts of it are no longer relevant. I just figured it would be a shame to let such a fine piece of literature go to waste. Besides, I really liked the way I tied everything to my "Sweet As Devil's Food" theme. I couldn't word it exactly how I wanted to per say, but I think I was ambiguous enough to get my point across. Don't you?
1 comments:
I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE, WORKIN WIT SOMEBODY U LIKE BUT U FEEL LIKE U NEED TO KEEP IT TO URSELF TO NUMBER 1 HAVE A COMFORTABLE VIBE AND 2 TO AVIOD REJECTION.... ITS NOT A GOOD FEELIN BUT U NEVER WANNA B LEFT WONDERING WHAT IF OR WHAT COULD OF BEEN
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