--I'm not sure if I know what it is to be in love with someone anymore. Sometimes it's like you think you're in love but when you are actually with that person you realize that you don't even like the person that much. I think it's funny sometimes. I know what it is to love someone like family, God, my daughter but as far as being in a relationship and loving someone I'm not sure I can do that again. I think I'm in love with someone but I'm not sure. Love is like a game people play. I just don't have time for games. I've been through a lot and have been hurt a lot and I have come to a point in my life that I'm happy. I get lonely sometimes but it does pass. I will stay lonely before I am unhappy and sad because I have let another man in my life to hurt me. I know it's wrong but it will take a lot for a man to get close to my heart. One day I know I will learn how to be in love again.......Like my playlist song says I'm not that silly girl anymore, I know how the game goes.......--
A friend of mine wrote this in a blog of hers on MySpace around a week or so ago and it caught me off guard when I read it. Not so much because I empathized with her on everything she was saying, but because it reflected the same exact sentiments that I happen to have towards love as well.
For what its worth, I, myself, have never been in love and would not be able to relate to those that have; but one thing I've learned along the way is that regardless of how many times someone can break your heart...the funny thing is, we still manage to love them with all the little pieces.
Which is sad when you think about it. Are we that naive (at times) to think that just because a relationship doesn't work out with so-and-so that, later on down the road, something won't happen with the next? That kind of thinking creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and while I agree that being lonely is better than being unhappy, I just feel like men and women, both, tend to put too much emphasis on finding Mr./Mrs. Right. Trust me, if it was that important, God would've made it a point to provide us with someone at birth; but, instead, he provided us with this nifty little concept called "dating".
And I think that's where a lot of people get confused. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're in love and the sooner people realize that, the better off they'll be. Take me for instance. I'm 22 odd years old and I've never had a real relationship, let alone a "girlfriend" for that matter. Does it bother me? Of course it does, at times more than others; but, in the back of my mind, I realize that I have a lot going for me. It may not show on the surface but, last I checked, I'm a pretty genuine dude. It's just fucked up because I've had the worst possible luck when it comes to pursuing females.
Either I choose the wrong ones or I put too much thought into everything that it all starts to go downhill from there. For whatever reason, things seem to never go right and after a while, you start to kind of feel like they never will. It’s kind of like trying to climb a mountain. You know that the top is where you wanna be but, if you never reach it, you start to doubt if there’s anything even there at all. But can you blame me? Every situation that I’ve ever been involved in has ended the same way and there’s only so much heartbreak a person can take. I’m tired of living like this and the more I wear my heart on my sleeve, the more I subject myself to being hurt. Plain and simple, it’s time for a change
Truth be told, I realize that any digression I may have is self afflicted but I would like to believe that I’m a victim of circumstance. Doing so makes things a whole lot easier and a lot less complicated.
Which brings me to my point. What exactly does it mean to be in love with someone? That's the same question this friend of mine proposed and the only educated answer I can remotely provide is that love means not having to defend your feelings. Any doubt whatsoever defeats the purpose and the last thing I would want is someone who thinks they love me. Give me somebody that knows...
...and to think, all this over a 4 letter word that's simple to spell; yet so hard to find.
For what its worth, I, myself, have never been in love and would not be able to relate to those that have; but one thing I've learned along the way is that regardless of how many times someone can break your heart...the funny thing is, we still manage to love them with all the little pieces.
Which is sad when you think about it. Are we that naive (at times) to think that just because a relationship doesn't work out with so-and-so that, later on down the road, something won't happen with the next? That kind of thinking creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and while I agree that being lonely is better than being unhappy, I just feel like men and women, both, tend to put too much emphasis on finding Mr./Mrs. Right. Trust me, if it was that important, God would've made it a point to provide us with someone at birth; but, instead, he provided us with this nifty little concept called "dating".
And I think that's where a lot of people get confused. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're in love and the sooner people realize that, the better off they'll be. Take me for instance. I'm 22 odd years old and I've never had a real relationship, let alone a "girlfriend" for that matter. Does it bother me? Of course it does, at times more than others; but, in the back of my mind, I realize that I have a lot going for me. It may not show on the surface but, last I checked, I'm a pretty genuine dude. It's just fucked up because I've had the worst possible luck when it comes to pursuing females.
Either I choose the wrong ones or I put too much thought into everything that it all starts to go downhill from there. For whatever reason, things seem to never go right and after a while, you start to kind of feel like they never will. It’s kind of like trying to climb a mountain. You know that the top is where you wanna be but, if you never reach it, you start to doubt if there’s anything even there at all. But can you blame me? Every situation that I’ve ever been involved in has ended the same way and there’s only so much heartbreak a person can take. I’m tired of living like this and the more I wear my heart on my sleeve, the more I subject myself to being hurt. Plain and simple, it’s time for a change
Truth be told, I realize that any digression I may have is self afflicted but I would like to believe that I’m a victim of circumstance. Doing so makes things a whole lot easier and a lot less complicated.
Which brings me to my point. What exactly does it mean to be in love with someone? That's the same question this friend of mine proposed and the only educated answer I can remotely provide is that love means not having to defend your feelings. Any doubt whatsoever defeats the purpose and the last thing I would want is someone who thinks they love me. Give me somebody that knows...
...and to think, all this over a 4 letter word that's simple to spell; yet so hard to find.
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