Beyoncé | Portrait of a Lady Pictorial

[Click here for more images from the pictorial]

I'm really feeling this alter ego of Beyoncé, if I must say so myself. Not only is she sexy, but the intrigue that comes along with her is what makes her even more attractive. Sure, she's still Beyoncé at the end of the day and I get that, but Sasha Fierce is on a whole 'nother level. Anyway, click above on the link to check out more from this pictorial [that ran last month] and hit me up with some feedback.

What's G? | Gatorade Commercial

Allen Iverson Covers Slam Magazine

Allen Iverson has been criticized his entire career for being a "me" first player and I honestly thought his arrival in Detroit would prove otherwise. Needless to say, things haven't gone so well since and to say that the team has struggled would an understatement.

Which is no surprise. Integrating a player of Iverson's caliber will take time to gel and while I'm confident the team will respond well once the playoffs come, it just hasn't shown on the court [yet] and it bothers the hell out of me.

Why? Well, at times, the Pistons look lost out there and seem to have lost that "championship swagger" they had with Billups; however, it all comes down to defense. It's already a given that A.I. can score; but if the team can rally around that concept and play defense as a unit, then I don't see why this team couldn't compete for a championship. Do you?

Lil' Wayne Debates Skip Bayless on ESPN's 1st & 10

Daddy's Little Girls

It's strange. I never understood why people loved Run's House but, as of late, it seems like it's all I ever watch. Call it a change of heart, if you will, but it's just something about this show that makes you not want to look away. Every frame grabs you and pulls you in and as you eagerly wait as to what will happen next, the anticipation just kills you.

Ok. Maybe I'm being a little too melodramatic but, real talk, I have been addicted to Run's House. I've tivo'd all the older episodes, or what have you, and I watch 'em like every day. Besides, the more and more I watch, the more and more I freakin' love it!

Anyway, as much as I'm becoming a fan of Run's House, I think I'm even more excited about this upcoming spin off that will focus on Angela and Vanessa. Appropriately titled Daddy's Girls, the show will revolve around Angela and Vanessa's lives in L.A. as they work on their pastry line.

Set to premiere tonight, Daddy's Girls will make for some entertaining television and will be sure to make up for that God awful 50 Cent bullshit. Did anybody even watch that show? Hell, I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did. Whatever the case, be sure to tune in tonight @ 9 and, afterwards, feel free to comment on what you thought.

Are You My Wonder Woman?

[Click images for larger view]
I'm a little too old to [still] believe in super heroes; however, Angel Lola Luv could be my Wonder Woman any day.

*ÇåñÐ¥ Çðå†êÐ HêåÐþhðñê§

Truth be told, I've had my eye on some Skullcandy Headphones for quite some time now; but always shied away simple because of the fact that they were rather pricey. Needless to say, I knew I would probably never give in and buy them for myself but, when you have friends like I do, things tend to work themselves out so you won't have to.

That's right! I, Trimaine Irby, am the proud owner of a pair of Skullcandy Headphones and declare this the best Christmas gift ever. Ever since I got 'em, I swear I've used them like everyday; and the thing I love most, is the sound quality. Not since my original ipod buds have I enjoyed such comfort/familiarity and, for that, a HUGE thanks goes out to the folks that got 'em for me: Ralph and Erica. I love you guys and, just so you know, I appreciate this from the bottom of my heart. No one's ever given me exactly what I wanted during this time of the year and, for once, I feel like a million bucks.

Who's Nailin' Paylin?

I’m all for political satire as long as it’s in good taste, but even this is too good to pass up. Apparently the fine folks over at Hustler had an ingenuous idea to capitalize off the Presidential election and released a porn parody entitled, Who’s Nailin' Paylin?

I know what you’re thinking. Clever name, right? Well yeah, porn films have always had a knack for invoking pop culture icons/references into unadulterated raunchiness and this is no different.

Anyway, the film was released to the masses on election day and has since hit the net to moderate fanfare. Starring Lisa Ann as Serra Paylin (Sarah Palin), the film satirizes the former Vice-President candidate and even includes spoofs of Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice.

But that's not even the best part! A bonus scene was later added, preceding Barack Obama's historic win, but is only available through the Hustler members website. Entitled, "Obama's Nailin' Paylin?", the bonus scene is intended to be an indication towards who the folks at Hustler endorsed; but all you can really do is laugh.

Of course none of this is intended to be taken seriously and I think that's why a lot of people didn't care much when news of this project first surfaced. For what it is, the porn industry has thrived off of capitalism for years in this country and what better union to have than one that involves porn and politics. Seemingly, the two go hand in hand. Wouldn't you agree?

Alabama Loses Allstate Sugar Bowl 31-17 To Utah

How does a team go undefeated in the regular season, lose to Florida in the SEC Championship game, and then lose to Utah in the Allstate Sugar Bowl? That’s the question a lot of Crimson Tide fans are asking themselves right about now, but I think all the credit in the world has to go to the ONLY undefeated team in the nation, the Utah Utes.

For anybody that watched that game, Utah’s spread/hurry up offense caught Alabama off guard and allowed the Utes to jump out to a 21-3 lead. From there, Alabama never really got it going and struggled offensively; not to mention, turnovers played a huge part as well. It just goes to show that no game is won on paper. Instead, the players decide things on the field and one team [obviously] came more prepared than the other.

Now, being the unbiased individual that I am, I had no interest whatsoever in this game but was impressed with how physical Utah came out and played. Typically, the SEC is highly touted as the most physical conference; but Utah flipped the script and was completely dominant in bringing pressure on a downtrodden Crimson Tide football team.

Obviously Alabama never really recovered after that loss to Florida a weeks ago and it really showed in their effort. For whatever reason, Alabama came out flat and served second fiddle to an opportunistic Utah team that capitalized when given the opportunity.

Had things gone differently, Alabama possibly could’ve made the case for a share of the National Championship; but now, all that is out the window. Instead, their consolation prize is an embarrassing loss; one that was emphatic, incredulous, and damn near hard to watch.

Peyton Manning Named AP NFL MVP

In my opinion, Peyton Manning won the MVP in week 1 when Tom Brady went down with an injury. Think about it. No other player in the NFL is even worthy of such an honor and, as much as I hate to admit it, the guy earned every bit of this award by leading his team to the playoffs after starting the season with a 3-4 record.

Without question, it took every bit of focus to put the Indianapolis Colts in position to make a run; however, winning the MVP has become a death nail of sorts -- especially the last couple of seasons. Still, Peyton gets all the credit in the world for playing through injury and a makeshift offense that really didn’t start clicking until mid-season; but I think some honorable mention should go towards RB Adrian Peterson.

If this guy’s heart could be measured, he would’ve won the MVP in my book; but he fumbled that away with his inability to hold on to the ball. Too many turnovers cost him a prestigious honor and until he proves otherwise, you have no choice but to consider him a liability. Vikings fans already do so, although he makes a lot of things happen offensively, think of it as a gift and a curse. At least that way things are [somewhat] put into perspective.

*The Indianapolis Colts lost to the San Diego Chargers on Wildcard Weekend; thus keeping the “MVP curse” alive.

Coco(nut) Juice

Ever since Coco posed for Playboy, the appeal she once had seems like a distant memory.

I remember, at one time or another, just how facinated people were with Coco and her "assets" but now, you don't really hear too much about her.

People seem to have lost interest for some odd reason or another and you kind of have to wonder if her shelf life has reached it's expiration date.

Personally I don't think that's the case, but it is what it is. Coco remains the prototype for PAWG's everywhere and it's nice to see that she's still relevant enough to be featured on a magazine. Albeit one that I have never heard of, it's still a good look regardless.

T- Pain Feat. Chris Brown | Freeze [Video]

Scarlett Johansson Covers Cosmo

Scarlet Johansson doesn’t really have a hold on me like she use to and I think it has to do with the fact that she got married. Ever since she became the property of Ryan Reynolds, the attraction I had towards her has fizzled and I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Some would probably call it a sign of maturity, I suppose, but I’m not exactly sure how to feel to be honest. Don't get it twisted...I'd still wife her if I had the chance to, but it's not like I'm making it my #1 priority to make that happen.

Which it was. At one time or another, I mind you; but those thoughts have no relevance whatsover anymore, so let the record show otherwise.

Anyway, as you can see, Scarlett is gracing this month's Cosmo so be sure to go pick up a copy when it hits newsstands. Also, The Spirit is in theaters now as well, so go check that out too. Just be warned, it's not particularly a good movie; although, a sultry Eva Mendes makes it all the more watchable.

Travis McCoy (of Gym Class Heroes) Signs With T-Pain's Nappy Boy Label

Not much in the entertainment industry surprises me anymore, but I found myself scratching my head when I came across this tad bit of news. Assuming everything is accurate, lead singer Travis McCoy of the Gym Class Heroes has signed a solo deal with T-Pain’s Nappy Boy label and I can’t help but be every bit of confused.

It just doesn’t make sense! I read somewhere that this was the equivalent of the whole Snoop to No Limit thing and, arguably, I can justly see how one could equate that to this. Not that it matters much anyway but, still, I’m just trying to piece together how this all came about. What in the hell would possess someone as underrated as Travis McCoy to succumb to commercial success, when it was his underground following that helped him and the Gym Class Heroes be where they are today?

It just goes to show that everybody has a price, I guess, but whatever. From a business standpoint, I kind of see how this works for Travis and linking up with T-Pain will not only increase his visibility, but his profitability as well. Whether or not it will mesh is up in the air but, for now, it's all wait and see.

NFL | Wildcard Weekend Predictions

Atlanta Falcons (11-5)

Arizona Cardinals (9-7)
The Atlanta Falcons are one the many surprises this year and who would ever thought that a rookie QB would lead them back to the playoffs? Following a tumultuous year last year, no one could have ever predicted a turn around quite like this, but Atlanta seems poised to make some noise in this years post season.

Led by QB Matt Ryan, the Falcons match up well with the Arizona Cardinals and you can expect them to attack Arizona's secondary down field. Combine their aerial assault with the strong running of Michael Turner and what you have is a recipe for a win. Besides, Arizona seems content with only making the postseason and have [seemingly] shut it down since clinching the division weeks ago. You can bet Atlanta will come to play and unless Arizona can flip the switch, that championship drought in Arizona will continue.

Final Score: Atlanta 27 , Arizona 17

Indianapolis Colts (12-4)
San Diego Chargers (8-8)
I hate the Indianapolis Colts. Strong statement, I know; but even I can't deny how well they have played as of late. Winners of 9 in a row, the Colts are rolling into the postseason in form and will be a tough out for anybody who matches up with them. However, San Diego seems to be Peyton Manning's kryptonite. In last year's playoffs, San Diego put the clamps down on Peyton and forced him to be impatient; but you can believe that Peyton will not have a repeat of that performance.

Instead, I expect the Colts to come out and stick to what has helped them win 9 in a row. Will that be enough? It remains to be seen, but I just think that with this new life that the San Diego Chargers have been given; without question, these group of guys want to make the most of it. They may not be the strongest team in the AFC but, when healthy, the Chargers are one of the most talented. That being said, I expect the Charger defense to come up big against Peyton and force him into a critical mistake late in the game. Thus, giving the Chargers a back-to-back sweep of the Colts in consecutive post seasons.

Final Score: San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24

Baltimore Ravens (11-5)
Miami Dolphins (11-5)

As much as I strongly feel that the New England Patriots should be here and not the Baltimore Ravens, nor the Miami Dolphins; I guess a part of me has to give credit where credit is due. Both of these teams are tenacious and have really fought hard all year to be in the position that they are in now; but only one can advance.

Let's face it. Both teams play really well and execute masterfully at what they do best and I highly doubt this game will disappoint. While it may not be the high-scoring affair that most fans want, a close, competitive game is more entertaining to watch and I expect just that from these two teams.

Baltimore's defense is rated high for a reason and I expect that same defense to shut down the wildcat offense of the Miami Dolphins. If the Dolphins have any chance, QB Chad Pennington will have to make a few key throws downfield and rely heavily on Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams to work their magic. If he's patient enough to do that, then the Dolphins will be in good shape. The thing is...I don't think the Raven's "D" will allow that; nor do any of the quote on quote "experts".

Final Score: Baltimore 13, Miami 10

Philadelphia Eagles (9-6-1)
Minnesota Vikings (10-6)

Many people believed the Philadelphia Eagles to be dead in the water following an improbable tie with Cincinnati but, with all the drama down in big "D", the Philadelphia Eagles found a way to get into the postseason. Now, being an Eagle fan, I would love nothing more than to see Donovan McNabb take his game to an even higher level and lead the Eagles to the Super Bowl; but it has to be all about balance. It irritates the hell out of me when the Eagles throw the ball the whole damn game, lose, and then wonder why. Maybe it's me that feels that way but it is what it is.

From the other side, Adrian Petersen has played like an MVP this year; but he fumbles the ball too damn much. The same could be said for Tavaris Jackson. I understand both these players are still young and will develop over time, but you have to take care of the football. For that, I give the slight edge to the Eagles. Not to mention, Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson is a master at the Eagles blitz scheme and I, strongly, believe Tavaris Jackson will struggle against such heavy pressure. If that holds up and the Eagles can find the perfect balance between running the ball and passing, I expect the Eagles to soar to the next round.

Final Score: Philadelphia 31, Minnesota 21

The Secret Life of Bees

The funny thing about life is that all of its lessons are never fully explained. Instead, a vast majority remain vague and open ended for self interpretation; and, with The Secret Life of Bees, I think this film profoundly explores that truth.

Based on the New York Times best seller, The Secret Life of Bees is not only masterful in what it represents but, from a sense of belonging, it [also] enriches the concept of “sense of self”. Naturally, we as human beings have this longing to belong and to be denied that is somewhat a slight against nature. To say we were dependent [as well] would be [somewhat] of a fair assessment but, then again, it is the actions of those around us that shape our lives. Therefore, in relation to The Secret Life of Bees, I think it’s fair to say that this film is the proverbial pulse for when it comes to human life. A pretty bold statement, I’m sure, but allow me to explain.

Set against a racially divided, 1964 South Carolina backdrop , The Secret Life of Bees is [essentially] about a young girl named Lilly (Dakota Fanning). Disenchanted with the life she leads with her father, Lilly seems more intent on finding where she belongs and sets out to do just that. Along with her black “stand-in” mother, Rosa (Jennifer Hudson); her and Rosa embark on a journey to find her home away from home and, along the way, life’s lessons begin to unravel. So much so that carrying a blurred memory of the night her mother was killed is enough to trigger an inconvenient truth for Lilly.

Now, being that I’m not one for spoilers, I won’t delve into what exactly that “truth” is; but I will say that The Secret Life of Bees is articulately masterful in it‘s approach. Not only is this story genuine, but it’s rich and sharp attention towards detail goes a long way and director Gina Prince-Bythewood is successfully poignant in capturing such raw, human emotion on screen. Not only is her take deeply satisfying, but it’s almost compelling to think that something this luscious could be translated from print to the big screen.

Whatever the case, The Secret Life of Bees is a must see and almost serves as a sign of hope. Regardless of who you are, we all feel desolate at one time or another and this film speaks to the universal longing to be loved.

Rating: 3 ½ inkblots out of 5

Keyshia Cole | A Different Me

Having a hit reality show on BET is quite the luxury but for Keyshia Cole, her success reflects solely in album sales. Her last album, Just Like You, was released concurrently with a new season of The Way It Is and, in doing so, the album went on to be certified platinum. Sticking with that same formula, Keyshia returns less than a year or so later and, this time around, Keyshia explores a more sensual side of her personality packaged as -- “A Different Me”.

Let’s be fair. From a guy’s point of view, Keyshia’s music isn’t necessarily supposed to gravitate towards me [as its intended audience] but where Keyshia excels is in the 18-24 demographic for younger females. A lot of issues Keyshia touches on are relevant in some, if not all, of these ladies lives and to have a strong, positive role model such as Keyshia is [somewhat] rare these days. Oftentimes female artists are stripped down of their essence and given a superficial, sexed up image in order to sell themselves and it really bothers me because it only adds to the popular notion that sex sells. Which it does. I’m just saying the alternative is much more meaningful and Keyshia is a clear representation of that.

Which brings me to this new album of hers, A Different Me. While a more sensual side is more than welcoming, Keyshia does so as eloquently as one would expect and nothing seems overtly out of place. Songs like “You Complete Me” , “Erotic”, and “Beautiful Music” are sure to stand out among fans but where Keyshia switches things up is in her unlikely collaborations. The lead single “Playa Cardz Right”, for example, featuring Tupac blends her soft, melodic voice with the “thugged” rhymes of Tupac and the collaboration feels more natural than forced. The same could be said for “Oh-Oh, Yeah - Yeah” featuring Nas. Here the Queens bridge rapper drops knowledge over a soft, Outsyders production but still comes all the way real with something of substance.

From there, A Different Me makes for a valiant effort overall but, still, Keyshia can’t manage to recapture the same magic she had from her debut. Although her last record, Just Like You, was financially a success, the same problem plagued that disc as well and it seems like her progression album to album is on a downward spiral.

Not to say that she doesn’t make good music. In fact, I respect her for being herself and not allowing label execs to market her any way they please; but I, personally, just feel like more could’ve been done with this project. When you strip away everything Keyshia has been through, she’s still a woman at the end of the day and the material she chooses should reflect that.

That being said, I think the comparisons between her and Mary J. Blige should be thrown out the window, or dismissed as false promise, but whatever the case Keyshia has a long way to go. Perhaps, over time, she will one day reach such high regards; however, that day is not here, nor now. Instead A Different Me stands alone as far as level of quality is concerned and, in my opinion, I would much rather prefer the old Keyshia. Wouldn’t you agree?

Rating: 5.0 headphones out of 10

Plies | Da Realist

Although over saturation can be a gift and a curse, Plies would probably prefer you view the releasing of his second album in less than a year as a product of pure genius. Having captivated audiences with such hits as “Bust It Baby (Part 2)” , “Please Excuse My Hands”, & “#1 Fan”, Definition of Real was only released a short while ago (it dropped the same day as Tha’ Carter III…if you can believe that) and, arguably, some would say that Plies is rushing things a little bit when it comes to this new album of his, Da REAList.

Personally, I could care less; but from a marketing standpoint, it makes all the sense in the world. A rapper’s visibility is his most important characteristic and unlike some artists who stay away for far too long, Plies makes for a worthy exception to the rule. Not only has he garnered much success via immense fanfare but, generally speaking, his music has had such a crossover appeal that it’s hard not to give credit where credit is due.

However, we are all subjective to constructive criticism and the biggest problem with Da REAList is that it seems too watered down even for Plies. Maybe it’s just me but, in my opinion, Plies seems to be following a formula. I’m all for the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach but I’m [also] very limited in what that pertains to. In this case, Plies relies too heavily on these “ghetto love anthems” when really the heart of his subject matter is in his “realness”. For instance, “Family Straight” is open enough to be considered an emotional look inside the mind of a quote on quote “goon”; but where this track works is in that it’s coming straight from the heart. Regardless of who you are, everybody has problems and can relate and I think that’s why a lot of people gravitate towards Plies’ music.

On the other hand, tracks like “Me & My Goons” & “Fuck U Gon’ Do About It” are your typical Plies records and the simplistic production is enough to proclaim Hip-Hop as officially dead. Which, arguably, it is but Plies’ relentless hustle circumvents that notion. Ever since he exploded onto the scene with “Shawty”, his particular brand of sex induced, ghetto love anthems have gotten him much play with the ladies; and for further proof of that, look no further than his current lead single “Put It On Ya”. Featuring newcomer Chris J., Plies spits his sexual seduction over a No. I.D. produced track and the chemistry between him and Chris J. balances quite well.

The same could be said for “Want It, Need It”. Featuring Ashanti, Plies and The Princess of Hip-Hop and R&B deliver a solid collaboration over a J.R. Rotem production and is, by far, one of the few standout tracks on the entire album.

Not to be outdone, Plies holds his own throughout this 16-track opus but, ultimately, this album suffers from a lack of focus and [somewhat] feels rushed. If anything, it feels like a bunch of leftovers from The Real Testament and it’s a shame because I, myself, praised Definition of Real for being the album that served Plies his validation. Now, not so much. Not only is Da REAList a step back, but it also creates doubt in one’s mind of whether or not Plies is a one trick pony. Don’t get me wrong, I understand how important it is to be real; but, at the same time, I respect real music just as well and this is just not it.

Rating: 5.5 headphones out of 10

Charles Hamilton | Brooklyn Girls [Video]

N.E.R.D. | Sooner or Later [Video]

Yung Berg | Outerspace [Video]

The Notorious Naturi Naughton

Who would ever think that an R&B, Pop princess would play someone like Lil' Kim in a major motion picture? I, myself, never thought it to be a possibility but that's exactly the opportunity that former 3LW member Naturi Naughton was given and critics have been in an uproar ever since.

Now, bear in mind that a majority of the criticism is from people [actually] close to the situation and, from what I hear, producers were out to make Notorious as authentic as possible. Whether that's true or not remains to be seen, but I still don't see how someone as soft natured as Naturi could pull off [playing] someone as explicit as Lil' Kim. Both of their personalities are polar opposites and it seems like it would be a stretch.

Only time will tell, I suppose. Notorious is set to hit theaters January 16th but, in the meantime, be sure to pick up a copy of KING magazine. The homage to Lil' Kim's "Notorious" album is a good look with Naturi on the cover so big ups to KING.

Saturday Night Live | Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals Sketch

SNL Digital Short | J*** In My Pants

Lakeview Terrace

Race and morality are one thing, but what happens when things of that nature become blurred in the name of justice? That’s the question that’s proposed in the dark thriller Lakeview Terrace; and while it executes things masterfully on the surface, it also makes it a point to question the infrastructure of our society.

Are we really bound/subjugated to harassment in our very own neighborhoods? Of course not, nor should we ever have to be, but color always seems to be the dividing line. Racism, while not as openly practiced as it once was, is still alive and when you combine that state of mind with an hypocritical oath of “to serve and protect”, who’s really at fault? Us for believing it? Or, us for allowing it to happen? You be the judge.

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Lakeview Terrace is somewhat of an unorthodox thriller in that it takes the issue of racism and gives it a “novel twist“. Even in it’s most villainous form, the most heinous individual is one that lacks ignorance; and as Abel Turner, Samuel L. Jackson displays his character’s inner most hatred as effortlessly as one could imagine.

Fueled by a blind passion, the subplot of this movie is even more intricate than most would expect. On the surface, harassment seems like a moot point when considering what all else is involved; but it’s the motive of Abel Turner that draws you in along the way. Is he racist? Crooked? So many questions abound until the big reveal and, even then, it all revolves back to an issue of morality. Not to say that it justifies his actions, but his torment towards Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington’s characters is the perfect example of what’s wrong with our society today.

Let’s face it. Interracial dating is still a touchy subject in this day and age and I think Lakeview Terrace explores this ugly side of truth pretty accurately. It would’ve been easy to have reversed the roles and have had Abel been white, but I think you lose a certain element when you do so. Instead, as it stands, Lakeview Terrace is remarkable in that it doesn’t get caught up in what some consider taboo and, when you combine that with all the social aspects involved, it’s play on the human conscience makes for more than what your money’s worth.

Rating: 3 inkblots out of 5

Saturday Night Live | Blizzard Man Sketch

Milani Rose is 2008's Web Girl of the Year (KING)

Maybe it was her 4-foot-9 frame and 34D-26-40 measurements that helped Milani Rose be crowned 2008’s Web Girl of the Year but, next to Jesikah Maximus (F.Y.I., she came a close second; she lost by a mere 7 votes. Can you believe it?) I can’t think of any other internet model that made an impact. Outside of Diznee, whom I personally think should’ve won, Milani has had quite the year as far as exposure is concerned; so, honestly, I can’t even be mad about this selection. Ms. Rose has definitely earned the crown from last year’s winner, Robin V., and I’m sure this will not only broaden her [ever-growing] fan base but open up many doors as well. Congrats and shout out to KING Magazine! But, damn, can Diznee get some love, please.

*Ä Pïñk Lïll¥ ïñ å GårÐêñ £µll ð£ Rð§ê§

As much as I hate flowers, even I know that every rose has its thorns. Trust me, I’ve been pricked enough times to know that for a fact; but as I sit here [again], alone in this [metaphorical] garden of perpetual solitude, I can’t help but feel a false sense of disillusion. Why? Well, unknowingly I may have found a flower among many; but instead of nurturing that delicate flower and allowing it to [possibly] blossom into something beautiful, I neglected what I had and have nothing left to show for it.

Sure, at first, things were in full bloom and I cherished my little raybon of sunshine; but shortly thereafter I became complacent and was content with things being the way they were. As much as I knew a relationship was effort and that it was on me to match the work that was being put in, I thought I could hide behind this wall of mine and everything would be fine. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case.

I learned that in order for a relationship to work, both sides had to be willing to meet in the middle; and for some reason, I was always afraid to tear down that wall of mine. Was it wrong of me? Sure, I admit I messed up and that I’m not without my faults; still, actions speak louder than words.

I feel like I’ve been more than accommodating (as of late) when it comes to this particular situation and that I have been there time and time again, but it seems like all the problems we go through are incessant. It’s never ending and the more and more I fall, the harder this heartbreak becomes. It would’ve been easy to just let things die a long time ago and, in hindsight, I kind of wish I had; but to see where we have come from to now, is nothing when compared to where we could be. This endless game of cat and mouse can not continue forever, so rather than chase relentlessly, I’ve opted to let things burn.

As eloquently as Usher once put it, things between us is beyond repair. I know it. You know it. We both know it. The writing was on the wall a long time ago and to pretend any longer as if it wasn’t would be indicative of a lie. Do I regret anything? No, not in the least bit. The only thing I can do is trust my instincts and this just “feels like the right thing to do“.

It’s funny, now that the shoe is on the other foot, I understand what that means; and even now as I re-trace all the conversations we had, I realize I was never part of your plan. To be honest, you were never part of mine. So, although, things had the potential to work; I always knew that I could never trust you completely.

Call it a sixth sense, if you will, but your impetuous attitude, combined with your obsession to control things, was too much for even I to bear. You led me to believe one thing after another in hopes that we would one day be together, but now that I see things clearly, I realize I was never gonna be good enough for you. I was never going to meet the unrealistic standards you set forth. So, for what it’s worth, fuck everything we ever stood for. You hurt me, more than you know, so regardless of the chance that I had to “fuck” you; I didn’t. It’s just funny that I’m one that feels fucked. Now, how’s that for irony?

As harsh as that sounds, honestly, I’m not even mad. And that’s the thing. A part of me is saying that I should be, but I’m not. Sure, it would’ve been easy for us to simply fade into the background and remain friends; but as every day passes, I’m realizing how less and less unlikely that notion seems plausible.

For every call that goes unanswered to every passing thought of one another, I guess the best thing would be for us to not live in the past and [instead] focus on what lies ahead. Both of our lives have many chapters to be written and, while the story of us was not as pleasant as we would’ve hoped, there’s no telling how ours will even end. Life has a funny way of working out and, although I’m too hurt to see it at the moment, I know that you and I were never really right for one another. Yet and still, opposites attract; so until the day I die, I’ll always remember the one time I found a pink Lilly in a garden full of roses. Hopefully, you will too.

Author's Note

At first, I decided to be ambiguous with this whole thing and to just let it ride; but I figured a little clarity would only serve this literary masterpiece some justice.

On the surface, it appears as though I'm talking about one girl, but actually I'm not. Throughout, I'm really talking about three different girls; hence the title A Pink Lilly in a Garden Full of Roses. Only one was special enough to stand out and I feel like the rest, while beautiful on the outside, were just a waste of my time.

None of them compared to that one and to come so close, yet still not have her is one of the worst feelings in the world. Life goes on I suppose so I'm not really sweating it too much, so it is what is. I don't even like flowers too much anyway, let alone roses, but I tell you what..I'm tired of being pricked by every thorn. Something's gotta give so regardless of what life has in store for me, I just hope a beautiful bouquet with my name on it finds me in due time.