Maybe it's just me, but the thing I don't get is how it's generally taught to be a quote on quote "gentleman", yet when it comes down it...no woman really wants that. Sure, women may complain about how they want this "knight in shining armor" to come and rescue them from the asshole they're stuck with but, my thing is, why even be with the asshole in the first place? You knew he was an asshole when you met him and, you know, it's guys like me that seem to always get the short end of the stick...
Plain and simple, chivalry is dead! Long gone are the days where being a "gentleman" meant something and now that whole aspect seems only relevant when referring to that one Ne-Yo album from a few years ago. Sad, I know, but it's the truth.
All I'm saying is that we need a return towards that way of thinking. A return to where "dating" was a fashionable thing to do whereas, nowadays, it simply serves as the "foreplay" of our generation. Don't believe me? Just look at the constant "so and so is now in a relationship" to :so and so is now single" relationship status updates that happen on a day-to-day basis on Facebook. For whatever reason, people rush into these relationships for all the wrong reasons, it seems like, and all I'm saying is that we wouldn't have a lot of these problems if people were not only honest with themselves, but honest with the people their pursuing as well.
All I'm saying is that we need a return towards that way of thinking. A return to where "dating" was a fashionable thing to do whereas, nowadays, it simply serves as the "foreplay" of our generation. Don't believe me? Just look at the constant "so and so is now in a relationship" to :so and so is now single" relationship status updates that happen on a day-to-day basis on Facebook. For whatever reason, people rush into these relationships for all the wrong reasons, it seems like, and all I'm saying is that we wouldn't have a lot of these problems if people were not only honest with themselves, but honest with the people their pursuing as well.
It kind of makes you feel as if true "love" doesn't exist anymore, if much at all, but I'm slowly starting to figure this whole thing out. And that's the hardest part...as much as people can tell you what "love" is, it's up to the individual to experience everything that comes along with it...you can't have joy without the pain and, for as much as I've been through with some of the women I've been interested in, I know enough to know that it takes more than one person to want something in order for it to not only have "meaning", but for it to work out as well.
By no means am I saying that I don't share any of the blame because, clearly, I acknowledge that I bring a lot of my problems with relationships on myself. I hate having to let go with a passion but, sometimes, cutting all ties with a person that has hurt you is really in the best interest of all parties involved. My question, however, is what happens when both parties share an equal amount of the blame; yet one side takes it upon themselves to absolve the other side's in order to bring closure to the situation?
...it's a game of devil's advocate at its finest and, lately, it seems as if it's all I play as I'm constantly replaying a wide range of events throughout my mind. As much as I apologized for a lot of things...a lot of things I'm still NOT understanding, nor will I ever I'm afraid; but for some reason, it always comes back to how I treated you. I was never an asshole by any means, yet it's ironic that it's a role that I can play all too well now that we don't talk much anymore.
Is that my fault?
...an open ended question if ever there was one; but here's to another of many that remain unanswered and are constantly swimming in a stream of consciousnesses...otherwise known as your brain.
-xO
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